Someone Help Me
by defenestratingEnemies
Summary: Katie has anorexia. Can anyone help her, or will she be the cause of her own death?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone! I realize that I have two more stories that I still need to finish, but I've had this idea for a while. It's just an idea, and I'd really, really appreciated if you guys could review and give me suggestions. Enjoy!**

"_Hey guys!" I said, walking over to my favorite lunch table and setting my tray down next to Tyler. "So how was that Geometry test?"_

"_Oh my god, I totally failed it," said Sarah, one of my better friends. "What person with a social life actually knows that stuff? No offense, Allen." _

_Allen (total nerd who sat at our lunch table because he had no friends) shrugged, inhaled his nasal spray, and started to eat his lunch. I sat down and did the same, taking a huge bite of my bacon-turkey-chicken-ham sandwich. _

"_Aren't you going to have any lunch, Sarah?" I asked her, noticing that there was no food in front of her. Sarah smirked._

"_Puh-lease. I could totally stand to lose a few pounds before homecoming. And to be honest, from the looks of it, you too, Katie."_

_I slowly put down my sandwich. "What do you mean by that?" I asked, my voice slightly colder than usual. Sarah rolled her eyes. _

"_I mean that you've been eating a lot more than usual, and it's kind of showing."_

"_I'm still growing, Sarah, and so are you." Even I had to admit my excuse sounded lame._

"_Katie, honey, no one possibly needs as much food as you've been taking in. Think of all the calories! It's no wonder your clothes have been starting to look a bit tighter."_

"_Sarah!" Tyler said sharply. "What are you talking about? Katie looks fine, and you do too." He turned to me. "Come on Katie, let's go eat somewhere else."_

_But all my appetite had vanished. "I have to go study," I mumbled, and quickly walked out of the cafeteria._

That scene from earlier today kept replaying in my head. I had tried to keep it out of my mind, but now that I was in front of my full-length mirror in my underwear (in the privacy of my own room), it was the only thing I could think of. I pinched my stomach between my hands, and was disgusted at all the flab. I walked over to my closet and pulled out an old scale that I had thrown in there a while ago, then stepped on it.

107.

This morning, that weight wouldn't have been bad at all for being 5'2". But now, it was awful. I was ashamed. Sarah had been right; I _did _need to lose some pounds. I was positive that none of my weight was muscle, as I didn't do any sports.

That meant I was all fat. Completely and totally fat.

How had I even been able to live with myself? How could Kendall stand living with me, his dumpy, fleshy little sister?

Well he wouldn't have to anymore.

"Katie!" I could hear my mom calling to me. "Dinner is ready!"

"Um, I've got a lot of homework. I'll eat later." I replied. I could hear Kendall and the others fighting as they ran to the table, the cheerful clatter of silverware against plates, a sound I wouldn't be hearing for a long time.

I started to plan out the next day: I would conveniently get up late tomorrow so there would be no time for breakfast, "forget" to bring lunch, and again have too much homework to eat dinner with the others. A bottle of water would be the only thing passing my lips.

It felt so good to be thin.

**Obviously, someone's going to find out what's up with Katie. By the way, Sarah, Allen, and Tyler are only showing up in this chapter because they go with the school setting. So, who should be the one to find out Katie's secret? Please, please review! I won't update this story until I get 5 reviews, so just click that little button and go crazy!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the next chapter of **_**Someone Help Me**_**. Sorry it took so long to update!**

**And thanks to all my reviewers; I really, really appreciate the comments. They give me inspiration to write, actually!**

**It occurred to me that I should be putting a disclaimer in here. So, I do not own Big Tome Rush, as much as I would like to.**

**So anyways, enjoy:**

KATIE'S POV

I woke up the next morning, my stomach rumbling. I immediately cursed myself for already being so hungry; skipping dinner shouldn't have been that big of a deal! Sighing, I stood up slowly, then started to get ready for school.

"Katie!" I could hear my mom call me from the kitchen. "Come and have some breakfast! I made pancakes!"

I groaned softly. Pancakes sounded great, but they were totally not an option. I couldn't let myself get even fatter than I was now.

"No thanks, mom! I have to go to school early and work on…a math project. With Sarah!" I called back quickly. Hurriedly, I grabbed my backpack went out of my room. Upon seeing all the guys eating at the table, I literally sprinted out of the apartment before they could see me, but was stopped my mom.

Uh oh…

"KATIE KNIGHT!" My mom yelled, effectively grabbing the attention of the boys (and I'm sure a couple people in the neighboring apartments as well). "You need to eat some breakfast! It's the most important meal of the day!"

"And didn't you skip dinner last night?" Logan added in his know-it-all way. Stupid Logan.

"Um, I ate at 10:00. After you guys had gone to sleep. I had some of the leftovers." I replied, masking the nervousness in my voice. I couldn't believe I was straight-out lying to my family.

"Nuh-uh!" Carlos yelled. "Cause when I had my midnight snack, none of the leftovers were gone!" Damn you, Carlos, and your midnight snacks!

"Did I say leftovers? I meant sandwich. I had a sandwich." I said quickly.

"No you didn't, cause _I_ had a sandwich at one in the morning and none of the bread had been taken! I counted the slices!" James said triumphantly.

"Wait, you count how many slices of bread are left in the package?" Kendall asked.

"And you don't? Weirdo." James scoffed, then ate a huge but of pancake. My mouth watered.

Mom sighed. "Katie, honey, if you really don't have time to eat with us, at least take this and eat it while you work on your math project." She said, handing me a nutrition bar. I took it slowly.

"Thanks mom," I said, then walked out the apartment. As I went down the stairs to the Palmwoods school, I could feel my head spin, both from hunger and my thoughts.

_I should eat! I need energy!_

_If you eat, you'll become fat, and no one wants to be seen with a fat girl. Especially not boys._

_But I'm hungry. I need to eat!_

_Pathetic, that's what you are. You can't even skip one meal without breaking down. My god, you're such a fatass. You should go die in a hole, if you can even find one that would even fit in, you stupid fat lump. Now go stuff your face with calories you don't need and dig yourself a massive hole to live in._

I could feel tears stinging in my eyes, and angrily brushed them away. I reached the school, and walked into the classroom, my entire body shaking. I walked over to the trashcan and threw the nutrition bar away, then went to my desk and sat, letting my thoughts take over.

KENDALL'S POV

After a light breakfast of 7 pancakes apiece, the guys and I started walking to the elevator to get to school. They were talking about the upcoming dance and who they were going to ask to it, a topic that I normally would have joined it on, but today I was thinking about Katie. I could kind of understand why she had skipped dinner (I've done that a few times when I've had really big projects due), but Katie had _never_ not had time for breakfast before, especially pancakes. I was kind of worried for her.

But it was probably nothing.

**So, what did you guys think? Please, please review with any suggestions or comments, I read them all and they mean a lot to me.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Happy Holidays everyone!**

**Here's the next chapter of "Someone Help Me". Thank you all so much for reviewing the last chapter!**

**This chapter focuses mainly on Katie, and it starts off kind of slow but it gets better, I promise!**

**And again, I'm sorry for not uploading so often. I'm a terrible person. You guys are awesome for not getting mad at me!**

**Even though you probably all are…sorry again!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush**

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><p>KATIE'S POV<p>

"-and that's why many people considered George Washington to be the King of Plaid." Ms. Collins finished writing the sentence of the chalkboard then turned around to smile at us which a too-large smile. Not that I even noticed.

The hunger had been eating away at me for the entire afternoon. I had managed to skip lunch by running to the bathroom and staying in one of the stalls for the entire lunch period. It was better to sit alone than risk getting questioned by my friends when they saw I wasn't eating lunch.

And now the feeling of hunger in my stomach was literally eating away at me. As if that wasn't enough, I had a huge headache, and I felt as if I was on the brink of losing consciousness. It was impossible to concentrate. Skipping 3 meals in a row probably did that to you.

But the feeling of being empty was so...

rewarding.

I actually felt pretty, and thin. There were no calories in me to make me even fatter and uglier, and it felt fantastic, aside from the total wooziness.

The bell rang, marking the end of school, and I literally jumped out of my seat. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sarah smirk. I felt my face flush, and I hurriedly shoved my binders into my backpack. I lifted my backpack, and to my horror, I found I could barely lift it. Was I really that weak?

"Hey Katie!" Kendall was right behind me, and I whipped around. God, his life was so damn perfect. He was handsome (I say this in a totally non-romantic way!), he had a girlfriend, and was the object of tons of fangirls' attention all over the country.

Oh yeah, and he wasn't a fatass like his stupid sister.

"Hey big brother," I said, trying to sound cheerful. "What's up?"

"I just wanted you to tell mom that Gustavo wants us to stay late for today's rehearsal. Something about him getting fired if he doesn't have a new song by the end of the week. Hey, if he got fired, it would make my life a lot easier." Kendall grinned.

"O-kay...I'll tell mom that you're going to be home late today."

"Thanks little sis! Love ya!" Kendall kissed me on the forehead then went off to join the other guys.

I felt my eyes tear up a little. Why couldn't I be like Kendall?

I strutted to pick up my backpack, then slowly trudged to our apartment. I went up the stairs of course. You don't burn calories standing in an elevator.

I let myself into the apartment, flung my backpack down, and went to get myself a glass of water, trying desperately to ignore the hunger in my stomach.

And all over the kitchen counter were groceries.

Oooh my god.

There was a note:

_I needed to pick up the vacuum from the repair shop. Please fix yourself a snack and put away the groceries. I'll be home soon!_

_Love Mom._

I put down the note, my hands shaking. I looked at all the food on the counter.

And I ate.

I didn't care what went into my mouth. Chips, cookies, crackers, I ate it all, tears streaming down my face as I ate. My stomach felt stretched out and bloated. I don't know how much I ate.

And when I stopped, the guilt surged over me.

_Look at you, living up to your reputation as a fattie. I knew you would crack. You're weak. You're an idiot._

I ran to the bathroom and held my head over the toilet.

_That's right, throw it all up. Maybe then you'll be fat instead of totally obese._

My fingers shook as I shoved them towards the back of my throat, then stopped.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't make myself throw up.

_God, you're pathetic. You don't deserve to be alive. No one likes a fatass. I can't even bear to look at you._

I slowly stood up ad looked at myself in the mirror. I looked awful, and ugly.

_Just go. Go die._

"No," I said. "No!"

I forced myself to walk to the kitchen and put what was left of the groceries away. Then I ran to my bedroom and cried openly.

_You're weak. Pathetic. But don't worry. I'll forgive you if you promise to never eat again._

"I promise," I whispered. "I promise."

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><p><strong>Will Katie be able to keep her promise? Or will she fail and let the voice continue to harass her?<strong>

**For the record, I know both Mrs. Knight's and Katie's mean voice are in italics, so to clarify: The italics are ONLY for Mrs. Knight for the note. After that, it's Katie's.**

**The next chapter will have more dialogue and Kendall-ness in it. I know this chapter was a little boring because it was all from Katie's POV, and it was really slow going. Nest chapter will be better, I swear!**

**I could also use some suggestions for the next chapters...how and when do you want Kendall to find out about Katie? Anything else?**

**I really, really appreciate the reviews and college seriously. So, don't be afraid to review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, thank you all for the great reviews! They were all really sweet and they made me smile. I really, really appreciate them, seriously. Also, a few of you gave me some great ideas which I may incorporate into later chapters…*forshadowing***

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR.**

KATIE'S POV

I woke up the next morning, and immediately a wave of guilt washed over me. Glancing at the clock, I found that I had somehow slept through the entire afternoon, evening, and night: it was 4:30 in the morning. I rolled over in my bed and slowly pinched the rolls of fat over my stomach. Disgusting.

I forced myself to take a shower, then stood in front of the mirror in my room again, naked.

_Oh, it's you again. I was hoping you'd finally kill yourself and rid the world of another ugly sight to see._

"Shut up," I whispered. I ran my hands over my stomach and thighs, cringing slightly.

_Don't be so angry at me. You can only blame yourself, especially after that binge-fest yesterday…man, you really are a pig._

The voice was right. It really was all my fault. I couldn't let this happen again!

_Now go get dressed, finish your homework that you should have done instead of eating your idiotic little face out, and go to school. No more food for the fatass. Oh god, stop crying. You brought this on yourself._

God dammit, the voice was right again. Shivering slightly, I did as the voice told me.

It was the only way I could be pretty and thin and fit in.

STILL KATIE'S POV

"Alright class! I want to see all of you run as fast as you can out here! And remember, the winning team gets a free pizza party!" Ms. Collins' overzealous smile was really starting to get to me. Oh, stupid Palmwoods gym class.

Somehow, I had managed to get through the entire morning and lunchtime without eating anything, with just a few sips from the water fountain. The last thing I wanted to do was run. I felt slow, and sluggish, not only from the lack of food, but from the malnutrition: I hadn't been getting the vitamins I needed for weeks (I had been an unhealthy eater anyway, and had paid no attention to my lack of vitamins in my diet. Now, I was feeling the consequences.).

But I had to win! Kendall was on my team, and I couldn't let my big brother down, especially because James, Carlos, and Logan were all on a different team, and would probably win the pizza party. Besides, if I ran fast, that would surely burn off tons of calories. It was a win-win situation.

Ms. Collins blew the whistle, and I saw Kendall and James start sprinting as fast as they could, with one of the Jennifers casually walking and texting along the track instead of racing. Typical rich blonde girl.

I saw Kendall inch ahead of James, then pass it off to the girl ahead of him, who took off. I bounced on my heels; I was the final leg of the 300-meter race. I jogged in place, feeling adrenaline course through my veins. I felt oddly light and quick, as if I could do anything in the world (even though I hadn't eaten for almost a day).

The girl ran up to me and passed the baton to me. Before I started to run, I saw the girl: Sarah!

"Wow, you look really fat today, Katie. Better stop eating!" Sarah smiled and went to sit down by the edge of the track.

Anger ran through me, and I ran. I would show her. I was so fast, faster then I had ever been before. I pumped my legs harder and harder. I was beating Carlos! In a rush, I sprinted over the finish line, yards ahead of both the other teams.

As soon as I stopped, however, I knew that something was terribly wrong. The sunlight seemed much too bright, and the trees were a stunning luminous green. I saw black start to face into my line of sight, and I knelt down, clutching my chest. Why couldn't I breathe? What was wrong with me?

"Katie!" Kendall was beside me in an instant. "What's wrong?"

What was wrong with me? I just wanted to be pretty.

"Talk to me! Katie! Oh my god, she's going to pass out. Ms. Collins!"

I felt more people come beside me. They were taking my air.

"I'm fine!" I managed to get out. "Just - go!" I gulped in air. and my vision began to clear.

"Did she have an asthma attack?" "Is she okay?" "I still think she might faint." "Someone call 911!"

I looked up to see Logan frowning. "It wasn't asthma," he said. "I've seen this happen to people with very low blood sugar, but Katie doesn't have any metabolism problems, so I don't know what happened?" Logan's brow was furrowed.

"I'm fine!" I said. "I don't need any help. Let's just go inside."

Kendall was looking at me with concern. "Are you sure, Katie? We can take you to the hospital if you need it."

"I'm _fine_, big brother. It's not serious. Besides, we won! Aren't you happy?"

Kendall looked at me for a long time.

"Okay, class, let's go learn some math!" Ms. Collins broke the awkward silence.

I knew Kendall would be keeping a close eye on me now. He was always so overprotective.

_Better be careful, honey. We don't was anyone to stop you from being pretty. Remember, no one likes a fatass, even Kendall. Especially Kendall._

KENDALL'S POV

Something was up with Katie. What had happened had really scared me, and I didn't want my baby sister to get hurt. She meant everything to me, and if anything happened to her, I would blame myself for not being a good big brother. I knew for sure that I would keep a closer watch on her now. Something was wrong, and I intended to find out.

**This chapter was also kind of a bum…the next chapter will be a lot better, I swear! It's legit already planned out.**

**Did you like this chapter even though I didn't? I really tried to make what happened to Katie realistic, and it was kind of from experience…but never mind that. Please review and tell me what you though of this chapter?**


	5. Chapter 5

**HAPPY NEW YEAR! This is probably the quickest update I've ever done, so I hope you all appreciate that.**

**I didn't get as many reviews on the last chapter as I've gotten on previous ones, so if you could please give me any suggestions that would make this story more interesting, that would be great. To those who did review, thank you! Also a great big thank you to all the people who favorites this story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush**

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><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~1 week later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<p>

KATIE'S POV

The past week had literally been hell. I had literally no energy, my skin was paler then ever, and I felt extremely weak. My backpack got heavier every day and I was getting sickening emotional I spent almost all of my free time standing in front of my bedroom mirror, analyzing and criticizing my body. I had only been eating an apple everyday in the bathroom at lunch. I was sure that my friends and family were suspecting that something was up. The fact that I had taken to only wearing dark, baggy clothes wasn't doing anything to lower the number of suspicious glances I was getting from my peers.

But I was losing weight.

I could see my ribs clearly through my skin, but they weren't as defined as I would have liked. I thighs still rubbed together when I walked, but only just. My arms were sticks, but not twigs. I was still nowhere near to where I would have liked to be.

But I still had time. And now I had more motivation.

I was started to get a crush on Tyler. Not a serious one; I was sure it would blow over quickly. What was really motivating me was the fact that I was started to really take notice of how guys like skinny girls. Just last week, I had noticed Tyler checking Sarah out after school. Oh god, Sarah was so skinny. I would kill for that body. No, I was already killing myself for that body. Sarah had totally known that Tyler was checking her out. When she passed by me as I was walking through the Palmwoods lobby, we had had a little conversation, one that had angered me beyond speech:

"Hey there, Katie," Sarah had said. "How's the new diet going? It hasn't been working, though. Too bad."

I was totally silent, Her words were hitting me like a million darts right through the chest.

"Now I know you like Tyler, Katie."

"H-How do you know about that? I mean, I don't like him."

"Oh god, don't pull that crap on me. I know you like him. It's too bad that Tyler isn't into fatties like you. There's a reason why he was staring at ME today and not you. Have you noticed why guys don't date girls with as much fat as you? It's cause they don't want to been seen with massive lumps of fat clinging to their arms. Can you think of anything more disgusting than kissing a fat girl? Good thing _I_ don't have to deal with that problem. You, on the other hand…"

I felt my whole body tense up and start shaking. I had absolutely no response to Sarah's remarks; it didn't help that she was right.

"Oh no, I've said too much. Don't worry Katie. I'm sure you'll find love at that fat camp I'm going to sign you up for this summer." Sarah walked away, smirking.

I lowered myself down onto one of the couches in the lobby and buried my face in my science textbook to hide my tears.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~That Evening~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Get out your party hats boys! It's 11:55, which means we're 5 minutes away from 2012!" James was screaming at the top of his lungs while jumping on the bright orange couch in our apartment.

Ah, New Year's Eve. For some reason, the guys had decided to not go to any Hollywood parties (which they surely had invites to, as they were BTR) and party instead in our apartment. Maybe it had to do with the fact that mom was visiting relatives in Minnesota and they had the place to themselves for the next 2 weeks. That would mean pizza for every meal for the nest 14 days. Ick. I would have to really try to stay out of their way to avoid eating any pizza; Kendall had been watching me like a hawk for the past few days, and I knew he knew I wasn't eating properly (but had chalked it up to lots of homework).

I snuck out of my bedroom and crept to our bathroom, shutting the door quietly being me.

_Finally ready to throw up, Katie?_

I slowly bent down and knelt over the toilet. My head was spinning; I felt dizzy and weaker than usual. My hands were bluish at the fingertips and cold and pale everywhere else. What was happening to me?

_It means you're on your way to prettyland. Soon you'll be just like Sarah, and boys will like you, and Kendall will be proud of you. But not until you get serious about lsojgn weight. Come on, fatass._

"Ten! Nine! Eight!"

I heard the countdown on the TV start, along with BTR's cheers. I shoved my head over the toilet again. I had to do this! For Kendall. For Sarah. For Tyler. For me.

_Stop acting like it's such a big deal. Just do it. Lots of girls have done it before. I though you wanted to be pretty._

"Seven! Six! Five!"

"Katie! Come celebrate with us!" Kendall was calling me. I ignored him. I was lost in my own little world.

_Come ON. Don't be a bitch. _

I was literally shaking. Tears were flooding my vision. I hesitantly moved my finger towards the back of my throat.

"Four! Three!"

"Katie!" Kendall was calling my name again. I heard him start to walk over to the bathroom.

_Hurry up! Don't let him catch you! Why are you such an idiot? Don't be a coward._

"Two! One!"

I saw a tear fall from my eye, and I pushed my finger farther back. Why couldn't I do it? I shoved harder, and I began to cough and gag. Yes! Just a bit father!

_There we go, honey. That's a good girl. Come on, don't let me down._

I felt my finger touch the back of my throat, and I began to retch violently. Bile sprang up from my throat, along with food from days ago.

_Nice job, sweetie. Now do it again. Once won't cut it. You want to be pretty, don't you?"_

I move my hand to my throat again, just as the bathroom door was flung pen, and I saw the shocked face of my big brother.

"Katie?"

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><p><strong>Dun dun duuunnnnn...so Kendall knows about Katie. What will happen next?<strong>

****I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know some parts were confusing because I just skipped a week in the story-world, but I hope I explained everything enough in the story. I personally liked this chapter; I don't know about what you guys thought though.****

** As always, please review with any suggestions, comments, etc. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, I seriously owe all of you guys a HUGE apology for not updating sooner! I mean, it's been over a month. That, my friends, is UNFORGIVABLE. **

**I really wanted to thank all of you. I was feeling as if I was losing readers because the reviews were going down, but you really made me happy with all the new story alerts and reviews and positive energy. Seriously, thank you all!**

**Aaaand on that happy note, here's the next chapter of **_**Someone Help Me**_**.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR. I mean, seriously.**

KATIE'S POV

My head snapped upwards and I looked into the shocked eyes of my older brother. We stared out each other for what seemed like an eternity, then Kendall ran out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Tears sprung to my eyes.

_Forgot to lock the door, didn't we Katie? However, it doesn't look as if Kendall cares enough about you to stop you from throwing up. He looked positively disgusted! I would be too, to have you as a little sister._

My breath was ragged, and I could feel my heart beating much faster than it should have. Kendall, the one person whom I trusted and could always confide in, had good as rejected me. God, he probably thought I was a prissy little failure, having to resort to throwing up to lose weight. Oh god, his eyes had looked so revolted upon seeing me.

I suddenly became away of the rising murmur of voices out in the other room. Damn, Kendall was probably telling the rest of the guys about me! No, no no…

_And then they'll reject you just like Kendall did._

"Shut up." My voice was raspy from the soreness of my throat. I couldn't let them see me like this. Clutching the edges of the toilet for support, I managed to raise my shaking body to a standing position. My legs were shaking like anything, and I could barely make it over to the door, where I closed it and locked it.

_Hey fatass! Kendall's coming back! Better throw up again before he catches you._

I clapped my hands over my ears and moaned as the room started to spin around me. A true wave of nausea hit me, and once again I was back over the toilet puking again. My whole body was shaking with the effort, and to my horror I realized that there was blood mixed in with the bile.

_Doesn't that feel better now, sweetie? One step closer on the road to perfectness! Ignore the blood, it just means you're getting thinner faster. Come on, one more time._

My arms could barely support the rest of my body, and the room started to spin again. I felt tears fall down my cheeks as pitiful sobs wracked my body.

"Katie?"

Damn, that was Kendall. I couldn't answer. I didn't want him to see me like this.

"Katie! Open this door right now!"

That was James shouting. I almost laughed: I couldn't have opened the door even if I wanted to, not that I would have if I had the strength. My hands slipped from the toilet and I collapsed on the floor. The cold tile felt good against my cheek, and I closed my eyes.

The door shook once, and I moaned, the harsh sound like a blow to my ears. It shook again, more violently.

_Get UP, you pathetic lump of fat. DO something! Girls like you have thrown up tons of times without almost passing out. Why are you such a failure? You will NEVER be good enough for ANYONE! Do you hear me, Katie Knight? You will always be a failure._

The door suddenly burst open with a huge cracking sound, and I saw Kendall running towards me followed by the other guys as I slipped into sweet unconsciousness.

KENDALL'S POV

I stared into the wide-open eyes of my baby sister, who was bent over the toilet. My eyes took in everything at once: the vomit in the toilet, the head that seemed much too large for the emaciated body that was barely supporting it. It didn't take long for me to realize what was going on. How long had this been going on for?

I fled the bathroom and ran to the kitchen where I bent my head over the sink trying to make sense of everything that had happened. How had I not noticed Katie before?

_Shit_, I muttered. I buried my face in my hands, then tiled my head up towards the ceiling.

"Kendall?" Carlos appeared next to me. "What's going on, man?"

I turned around to face him. "Katie," I said, fighting to keep my voice steady. Almost at once, James and Logan were next to me, waiting intently. "Katie was just throwing up in the bathroom. And not because she's sick."

The shock that settle upon the guys' faces was unsettling. Only Logan stayed calm. "I should have known ever since Katie collapsed during gym! She's been showing signs of anorexia for a while! How could we have been so _stupid?"_

"She was good at hiding it. Katie's always been tricky like that, but in a harmless way. This could seriously hurt her!" James exclaimed.

The sound of the bathroom door slamming shut startled us all, and we all looked at each other in horror before running to the bathroom.

"Katie!" I shouted frantically, tugging the doorknob. She had locked it! Why wasn't she answering? What if she had gone too far? What if…I couldn't bear to think of anything happening to my little sister.

"Katie! Open this door right now!" James roared. I had never seen him this angry, but despite James's scariness, Katie still didn't reply.

"Oh my god," I whispered.

"We've got to bust down the door!" Carlos said, much too calmly for the situation. I nodded, not wanted to let the guys hear how scared my voice would have sounded. Carlos suddenly ran forward and hit the door with all his might. The door rattle on its frame, but refused to budge. From inside the bathroom, I heard a weak moan, and my heart almost broke.

James flung himself against the door next, and to my relief, I saw a hinge come loose; however, the door still stood upright. In a fit of anger, I ran at the door, and to my surprise it burst open.

I ran inside the bathroom, my heart pounding in my chest. There was blood all over the floor, and Katie was curled up on the corner of the floor, her eyes closed. I ran to her and knelt down beside her.

"Katie!" I gently turned her over so she was facing the ceiling. Her eyes fluttered open weakly, then shut again.

"No, no Katie, please stay with me!" I almost cried out. She looked like a living corpse.

"James, call 911! Carlos, get a blanket!" Logan was issuing out commands, his tone sharp. I gently lifted Katie into my arms, and was horrified by how little she weighted. I could feel her shoulder blades right through the thin fabric of her shirt, and I hugged her closer to me. I couldn't lose her.

Logan suddenly came up to me and was expertly wrapping a blanket around Katie, who was shivering madly. Her eyes opened, and I prayed it wouldn't be for the last time.

"I'm so sorry Kendall," she whispered, and I held her tighter. What she was sorry for, I had no idea.

"It's okay, Kit-Kat," I told her softly. "You're going to be okay." She was leaving me, and fear settled over me.

"Paramedics are here," Carlos called, and a held Katie tighter as we all rushed downwards to the hotel lobby.

**And the drama escalates! What a cliffhanger! Actually, it wasn't really a cliffhanger, but it was suspenseful! (I think…)**

**Please review with comments, questions, complaints (not really). I hoped you liked this chapter, even though it was a bit more mature than the others.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush**

KATIE'S POV

_Beep._

_Beep._

My eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the bright light that was surrounding me. I blinked a couple of times, my eyelids each feeling like they weighed a thousand pounds. When I could see normally, I sat up and turned slightly to gaze at my surroundings.

Was I in a hospital?

It had to be. The room was austere and painted white, I was lying down in probably the most uncomfortable bed ever, and to my right I could see an IV and a heart monitor. But wait, those things were only for really sick people…

What the hell had just happened?

I heard a small grunt, and turned to see Kendall stretching and yawning in a small chair next to my head. When he saw that I was awake, his eyes widened.

"Katie!" he exclaimed, leaning forward and gripping me in a tight hug. After a few minutes, he pulled back and held my shoulders at arms length. "Shit, Katie, don't you _ever _do that to me again." His face looked tired, as if he hadn't slept for a while.

"Kendall, what happened?" My voice was a whisper.

"I think _I _should be the one asking you that question." Kendall's expression was completely serious now. "Katie, why didn't you tell us you were anorexic? How could you do that to yourself for so long?"

My mouth went completely dry, and I looked down at my hands, which were clasped nervously in my lap. "I'm not…anorexic…" I mumbled. It didn't sound at all convincing.

"Katie, don't even try to get out of this. The proof is all there, and the doctors confirmed it. Don't you realize how serious this it? You could have made yourself even sicker! You could have died-" Kendall cut off abruptly, and I noticed his eyes were wet.

"I-" My voice trailed off. I had no idea what to say. What _were _you supposed to say after being (rightfully) accused of being anorexic? Thankfully, just then a doctor came in.

"Katie Knight?" He asked. I nodded.

"Well, we did a few quick tests, and you have dangerously low blood sugar and electrolyte levels, as well as a severe lack of sleep. We put you on an IV and gave you some medication for sleeping, so you look a lot better than when you first came in. In fact, you should be cleared for leaving by tomorrow. However-" at this point the doctor looked up from his clipboard and right at me. "-there's a much bigger problem that we need to address."

The doctor sat in a chair at the foot of my bed. "Katie, how long have you been anorexic for?" Once again, my mouth was uncomfortably dry. It was the feeling you get when you know you've been caught doing something terrible and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.

_Deny it deny it deny it._

_If you say you aren't then you can go home and throw up what's left of all that fat that somehow a week of starving yourself and throwing up didn't get rid of._

_Do NOT let them hind out about our little secret, Katie._

"I'm not anorexic."

The doctor raised an eyebrow and cleared his throat.

"Okay, this is going to be a little harder than I thought. Katie, I'm going to sign you up for a couple sessions for a psychologist that specializes in eating disorders. She's going to help you get rid of your problem and learn how to properly treat and think about yourself.

"But I don't have an eating disorder!"

"Ms. Knight, based on what your friends and brother have told me and the blood tests we did on you as well severely underweight BMI, I can conclude that you most definitely have an eating disorder, and we are going to get you the help you need. Now, if that will be all, I have another patient to attend to." With that, the doctor got up and left the room. I turned to Kendall for help, but he was looking at me concernedly.

"Katie, you can't keep denying that you have a serious problem!"

I felt myself begin to tear up. "I'm only trying to make myself better," I mumbled. Suddenly, I was enveloped in another bone-crushing hug.

"You don't need to make yourself any better," Kendall whispered into my ear. "You are perfect just as you are. How you look isn't important at all, and it doesn't even matter because you're my baby sister and I love you and-" Kendall's voice was cut off again, this time by tears. "-and I'm going to help you through this. You're going to get better, I promise."

I felt a tear run down my cheek, and I cursed myself inwardly for being so weak. But Kendall's little speech had made me feel wanted. Loved. Ad if I mattered, and I really had a chance to get better.

_He's lying. He's just saying that because you're his sister. Being thin and beautiful is well worth the pain it causes you. Even Kendall agrees._

**Short chapter. And not one of my best.**

**Guys, I'm really sorry for not updating. And you all have been so great, reviewing and favoriting even when my wiring wasn't even that good. And I really appreciate it. I just have so much writer's block it isn't even funny.**

**Hopefully the next chapter will come much faster!**

**I really hope I haven't lost any readers.**

**Thanks for reading!**


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